Hesitation
by Blade of Justice
Summary: Sometimes, a moment's pause can change so much... or it can change nothing at all.
1. Chapter 1

Hibari knew she had to act quickly. She might not get a chance like this again for days, even weeks! Who knew if she would last that long? She had managed to infiltrate Hebijo, much to her own shock and awe, and not only had they seemingly accepted her right into their fold as one of their own, but they had no problems with what had likely motivated her to do so. It was like they _welcomed_ it, if anything.

It had only been going on for a short time, this "mission" of hers, but already... The experience had been one shock after another, to say the least.

Training with the Hebijo... Learning with the Hebijo... Talking with the Hebijo... Just spending time with the Hebijo... It was all so eye opening, which in turn was just so _confusing_ for Hibari!

These people were supposed to be evil. These people were supposed to be heartless. All her life, this was what Hibari had always been thought.

And it wasn't true at all, was it?

The Hebijo shinobi were just like the Hanzo shinobi. A little on the more extreme side when it came to training, maybe, and certainly more jaded, that much was true without a doubt, but... They weren't _that_ different. Hibari could see that so _clearly_ now. She couldn't even imagine having ever thought otherwise, and part of her truly _did_ long to be able to be friends — truly friends — with these girls.

It was so confusing!

The idea of betraying them didn't sit right with her as easily as it had before. Infiltrating their school and stealing back the Super Secret Ninja Scroll had been her mission from the beginning, yet now... She realized she might feel genuine guilt if she managed to pull it off, which in itself would be a miracle for someone like her.

But more than that, she couldn't let herself betray Hanzo and all the friends waiting for her. That was a feeling beyond simply "not sitting right with her," that much was certain. She had to do this.

Yagyu had nearly died because of her.

The scroll had been stolen in the first place because of her!

So many horrible things had happened, and so many horrible things were going to happen, all because of _her_!

She had to make up for that.

Even if it killed her, she would fix things.

After all, this was her fault.

"I have to fix this..." The pink haired shinobi whispered to herself, nodding in a way that initially looked like it was meant to be a confident gesture — in reality, it was anything but. Hibari was a bundle of emotions right now. Her heart was pounding, her palms were sweating, and with the clock ticking, she knew she had to go fast if she wanted to escape without raising suspicion — if this all hadn't been a set up to begin with. "I have to... Because..."

It was all her fault.

Just like everything was.

As she looked up at the ceiling, where she knew the oh so important scroll was hidden... Going over the words in her head again, Hibari found herself pausing, thiking over her motivations, recalling what incidents had led her to this point... And so she found herself hesitating.

It _was_ her fault.

It was _her_ fault.

If she went back... How many other things would be her fault? How many other traps would she walk right into? How much more would her friends need to suffer before she cost them something so much more than just a scroll?

How many more times would Yagyu get hurt because of her...?

... Would Yagyu even live through the next time for there to be a time after that...?

Full of indecision, Hibari bit her lip. She bit it so hard she was sure it would start to bleed if she didn't let go soon.

Yagyu was so important to her. Could she accept being responsible for causing her important friend so much hurt? Could she allow herself to be the cause of it any longer?

Her heart was pounding. She knew she was taking too long. Someone would come back and find her. Someone would take her only chance to do this... If she was going to do it at all... If she _could_ do it at all.

She shouldn't hesitate here.

Maybe... It was time to _stop_ hesitating.

* * *

Haruka really had thought Hibari was starting to show a little promise. She had joined Hebijo's ranks, she had started to get along with the rest of the elite students... If Hibari dawdled around for too long, surely she would get labeled as a traitor anyway, regardless of her intent, and the choice to leave would be taken away from her no matter what — even if she _did_ , by some miracle, retrieve Hanzo's Super Secret Ninja Scroll, she wouldn't be forgiven if she returned to Hanzo after much longer.

Haruka understood that Hibari might take some time, some... polishing, if you will, before she was all settled, but little Mirai had as well, hadn't she? If it meant wearing the traitor in the girl down, then so be it. Who knew? It was starting to seem like Hibari had been serious about staying. Perhaps Hibari was going to really go through with this and leave Hanzo for good? How _marvelous_ that would be...

Or so Haruka had started to think.

After all, now...

Here they were.

Here _Hibari_ was.

Haruka supposed it was to be expected. Hibari barely knew the Hebijo girls. She had been given the golden goose, as far as she knew. A chance to take back the oh so _precious_ scroll that she had been oh so _foolish_ to lose and get away without any of her new friends even knowing. What a sweet, naive little dream. Just like Hibari.

It was just another thing Haruka liked about the girl. Oh, Hibari was impossibly ignorant if she thought she would even get down a single hallway if she actually did manage to take it, but at the same time, it was just _terribly_ sweet that she truly seemed to think that it was possible.

If only Hibari had just looked for the bag she had been sent to find and left. If only she had peeked into the room and seen it wasn't there and turned right back around. Certainly, Haruka didn't dislike this loyalty of Hibari's at all, but didn't the girl realize she was _never_ getting that scroll back?

Why was this girl being so _difficult_? Didn't she realize that she would be welcome here no matter what?

Not that Haruka could find it in herself to hate that... No, it was to be expected. This was how Hebijo worked. Perhaps, if anything, she should hate herself for becoming so invested?

Haruka shook away those thoughts. She was hesitating. Hibari had already been alone for far too long in there. She should have struck already. She was giving Hibari time to mull things over, time to plot. That would do neither of them any good. It was unbecoming of a Hebijo shinobi.

She, Haruka, really was the one being difficult here, wasn't she?

No more of that. It was shameful of her, and it spoke poorly of her training that she had wasted this much time already.

Preparing to send in one of her puppets, Haruka's insides tightened as...

... Hibari left the room, quietly murmuring to herself that she had been unable to find Haruka's bag as she left through another one of the room's sliding doors.

Haruka was stunned. She could still vaguely sense Hibari's presence — it was getting fainter and fainter. The girl was making no attempt to flee or to hide. If she had somehow stolen the scroll without Haruka's realizing, she had gotten incredibly cocky about herself in the span of just a few moments, and something told Haruka that the possibility of that happening was rather unlikely, if not impossible.

"Could it be...?"

Haruka dared not believe it, she knew better than to chance such a thing as that, but... If Hibari wasn't even _attempting_ to take back the scroll...

What could this mean?

Perhaps... This was worth... observing.

* * *

 _Maybe... It was time to stop hesitating._

 _Maybe it was time to face reality._

 _The reality that she was a failure — a failure of a shinobi and of a human being._

 _The reality that she would bring nothing but despair and pain to the people around her as the person she was now._

 _The reality that s_ _he would be betraying Hanzo more by going back to them, by making them have to put up with her once again, than she would be by staying here.  
_

 _Maybe this... was a blessing._

 _Maybe she could start over._

 _And in that moment, Hibari said goodbye. To her friends, to her family, to her dreams... To everything._

 _She would embrace the Hebijo._

 _She could do that, couldn't she?_

 _At least her new friends would be strong enough that a failure like her wouldn't bring them down..._


	2. Chapter 2

No one but Hibari and Haruka were truly aware that something significant had changed in the pink haired girl. Not even Hibari was aware that that brief moment alone with a chance to go after the scroll, a chance she had not taken, had been observed by another. Haruka didn't say a word, lost in thoughts of how to approach this new development, and Hibari obviously had no intention of telling anyone what she had almost done.

Was she planning to try again so she could return to Hanzo as soon as possible? Was she trying to move on so she could settle into her new life in Hebijo as best she could?

Haruka was unsure. For the time being, it seemed like she could do little more than play the role of observer for now... and so observe she would.

And thus, things remained the same between Hibari and the rest.

Homura would treat her as she treated all the Hebijo students outside of her inner circle of fellow elites. If Hibari was going to try to kill her, she'd better be prepared for the consequences... And if Hibari truly wanted to stay, she'd better be prepared for the consequences of that decision as well. She would be welcomed regardless, and Homura would fight for her in that case like she would any other of her allies.

Mirai and Yomi were the same. They were indifferent to her, for the most part. If she made an attempt on their lives, it would be disappointing, but not unexpected. If she stayed, it _would_ be somewhat unexpected, but not completely unwelcome. Hebijo shinobi had a tendency to come and go, and most tended to be used to loss by the time they were enrolled as it was. Hikage, for her part, seemed to treat her as she treated everyone, though that didn't exactly say much.

Unaware of what had changed in Hibari, or perhaps all the more aware that the girl was seemingly less and less interested, Homura continued to brazenly leave the scroll in places where Hibari could find them. She even simply left it on her desk at one point, making it clear where it was before taking Hikage down to the courtyard to train. Hibari had been quieter as of late. It was natural to assume she had been plotting. Why not test her as openly as she could?

Surprisingly... Engrossed in a conversation with a lesser shinobi, even as Homura simply gave a vague "You guys look after the scroll," Hibari hadn't even glanced up at it.

It really did seem to Haruka like Hibari had given up on the notion of leaving.

When she realized it... When she finally accepted it and was sure of it... Haruka realized something strange about herself.

There was a bounce in her step that hadn't been there before. Her seductive smiles had lost their edge, for giddiness kept seeping in. Her laughs had a twinkle in them that seemed strangely... _genuine_.

It was something, a feeling that is, that she hadn't truly felt in a long time. It was a feeling she had only ever felt after becoming a Hebijo student, but truly feeling it even then... It was rare.

She was _happy_.

How could she not be?

Hibari was staying.

Hibari was going to stay with her!

Haruka was elated when she realized she had accepted this — when she realized that this was true.

She made a decision.

If Hibari was going to embrace the Hebijo, then wasn't it someone's duty to embrace right back? No one else was doing so. No one else had realized. So shouldn't that happen as soon as possible?

Even if it wasn't something that needed to be done, Haruka fully intended to do so regardless.

With that decision, the path Haruka found herself on was one almost — almost — akin to that of a giddy schoolgirl and her first love. She found herself daydreaming here and scheming there and even enjoying herself and doing _neither_ just a little to the left of that as well... She had always been known for plotting and planning, but with these recent developments, these new ideas were something else entirely.

It was almost like... They really _were_...

Perhaps they could have a... a _sleepover_? Maybe more than _a_ sleepover, even...? True, they already lived together, _sort of_ , but Haruka had only ever really gotten to do that sort of thing with the other Hebijo girls... Never before that. Having a sleep over with Hibari would be different. Haruka decided this without hesitation. She knew this because she knew her other friends. She would have liked to think she knew Hibari as well... But if not, wasn't a sleepover one way to change that? She wasn't _positive_ about it, but...

Oh! Maybe they could... Maybe they could 'do their hair' together...!?

Haruka had once tried such an approach with her fellow Hebijo shinobi before, but the results were mixed at best. Hikage and Homura weren't particularly invested in the idea, though they had gone along with it for some reason or another. Yomi and the idea clashed on a level that simply didn't make it particularly possible, and Mirai, adorable as she was, looked up to Haruka in a way that made it hard for Haruka to drop certain parts of herself and open up to the younger girl — the power dynamic between the two, much as she loved it at times, well... It had also created some barriers between them.

These things, however, simply were not an issue with Hibari. She could take a bath with Hibari and it could be natural, just like the pink haired girl's complexion or... well, those things weren't important. They could wash the blood out of their hair and the dirt and mud off of their skin and be friendly about it as their licked their wounds and relaxed. Haruka didn't want to be babied, no, but imagining what it would be like... It was a nice fantasy. Perhaps it was nothing more than that, but the fact that it was a fantasy that was now _possible_ made all the difference. Fantasy though it was, it was now a fantasy that Haruka could seriously hope would one day come to offer fruit.

The seed of this fantasy needed to be watered and tended to if she wished to taste that fruit, though...

And speaking of fruit... Maybe Hibari would even be willing to get under the covers with her after the bath? Not for anything _indecent_ , heavens no, not with her _Hibari..._ Well... not... right _away_ , at any rate, but... No, it was something simpler. It would be just for sleeping. Before... Only Haruka's dolls had ever been there for her like that...

That train of thought tended to leave Haruka's steps less bouncy, and inevitably, she found herself gravitating towards the underground area where she trained her personal squad to blow off some steam. Losing good feelings could be so _frustrating_!

But even then, her mind always seemed to return to one place — one _person_ — in particular, even as her "doggies" howled for their master's approval and attention.

Sadly for them, it was elsewhere. Luckily, they seemed to enjoy the fact that they were being ignored well enough too.

There was an idea...

Maybe someday Haruka could even let Hibari play with her doggies...?

... No, that would probably need to be something Haruka kept to herself. Though who knew? Maybe Hibari might like to _play_ "doggy" too — Haruka would be a _much_ gentler master with dear, sweet Hibari, of course, but then, she couldn't _possibly_ refuse such a request if Hibari _asked_ for it...

Truth be told... Strangely enough... Haruka rather hoped Hibari didn't ever ask. Certainly, perhaps part of her did, but for the most part... If Hibari truly was no longer going to be her enemy...?

She much preferred the thought of sleepovers or playing with _real_ dogs to inviting a gem like Hibari into such a place as her training facility below the compound. There might even be real merit to the idea of _real_ dogs, provided Yomi didn't get any weird ideas, though... Yes, they could teach some puppies how to fetch, and after a week or two, they could start competing and playing games! The one whose dog brought back the biggest corpse without it falling apart would win a prize!

When all was said and done, she supposed it actually didn't matter what they did. For at long last, Haruka was finally convinced of it.

Hibari was staying.

Haruka... Haruka would have a friend. A real one.

She had never realized how much, how badly, and for how long she had been longing for one... But now that one was here, she would never let it go.

And it was just as she had accepted this with certainty that something incredible happened. Something that changed everything.

* * *

It happened as dinner neared its end, as many important events in life tend to. It came without warning, yet perhaps there had been warning signs leading up to it all along.

Yomi was arguing with Mirai about bean sprouts again. Mirai had already eaten plenty, but Yomi, ever the good "Sis," wanted to give her more. Hikage was already halfway through her meal, while Homura was working on her seconds. A plate had been left out for Hibari, but it was likely that the food on it was going to get eaten up sooner or later.

Hibari wasn't present. It was expected, of course. She had been training harder today, and when it had come time to stop for food, she had said she would keep going, claiming she wanted to catch up to the others. There was no reason not to accept such reasoning, so the others went on ahead without her. Her training at Hanzo had paled in comparison to Hebijo's basic training, so it made sense she might want to keep working. If she was really planning on staying, such logic made perfect sense, and even if she wasn't, to those still wary, that made just as much sense, if not even more.

Finding herself craving something sweet, Haruka saw an opportunity. Cutting off her fellow Hebijo shinobi, she cleared her throat, moments from asking what everyone would like for dessert. Dinner had been pleasant enough, so what better way to finish it off with a tasty treat?

It was in that moment, a moment of peace, even bliss for these "evil" girls, when Hibari walked into the room. The others all offered simple greetings, but they were ignored. Hibari didn't even look at Haruka. She was walking straight for Homura, and before anyone knew it...

"Here." The girl, glum as could be, withdrew the Super Secret Ninja Scroll from her cleavage. Effortlessly. As if it had been no trouble at all. As if it was natural for her to have had it, natural for her to take it from her person to offer to another in such a simple way. "I... don't think I... What I mean is, um... You don't need to tease me with this anymore. I'm not going to take it. I'm going to stay. So... Please stop. This is too cruel... If you're still going to test me, then I... I'd rather you just use your swords."

The girls of Hebijo's elite class were shocked. Not even Hikage was able to offer a remark, instead looking to Homura for confirmation. Judging by Homura's face as she looked over the scroll that had been handed to her, this was definitely the real deal... But if that was the case, then when in the world had this girl managed to pull this off? How, for that matter? And why was she just handing it back over to Hebijo like this? Had she stolen it and changed her mind? Or did she truly mean what she said, and had done this to prove herself as one of them?

"So... E-Ehehe, um... Sorry everyone, I'm not very hungry tonight... Thank you for saving some for me! I'll see you tomorrow bright and early!" She offered the five girls a half-hearted smile before she turned to leave. She didn't say another word, and she didn't have to.

As Haruka watched Hibari's retreating back, she took in how the girl was moving. As a puppet master, posture was something Haruka paid careful attention to — she had to imitate even the smallest mannerisms perfectly if she wanted one of her dolls to fool a close friend before it moved in for the kill once it had the chance.

The news should have made Haruka ecstatic. It was, in essence, official now.

Hibari was here to stay. She was Hebijo for good, through and through. There would be no going back for her. Haruka should have raised a toast, if anything. Already, looks of positivity and approval were being exchanged around the table as the interrupted meal slowly resumed. It only made sense. Hebijo had just gained a new student more powerful than perhaps even the girl herself realized. Haruka should have had the biggest supporter of all.

Instead, Haruka stood up and made for the door Hibari had just left through, dinner completely forgotten.

"I'll be back soon. I want to just go give her a reward for making the right decision like this."

Though these were the words Haruka found herself saying, slipping out of her mouth as naturally as any other words might have, after sliding the door shut behind her, she set off in the completely opposite direction.

There had been a point where Haruka would have loved to see Hibari walking away as downcast as she just had. To have known why would have been immensely pleasing, and to have been even _partially_ the cause of it would have been all the more delightful.

Now that it was happening, as it turned out, that couldn't be further from the truth.


	3. Chapter 3

That night, Hibari had a terrible dream. She had had nightmares before — she was a shinobi, after all. Even just being in training... Nightmares were just a part of the job, weren't they? To have nightmares was to be a shinobi... Someone had said that at some point when she was young. She was sure of that. So she didn't pay them as much mind anymore...

But this one was different. It was a dream that anyone could have easily mistaken for something else, something far more sinister. It was a dream more real than any she could have imagined, and more horrible than any she had ever had in all her life. It was so vivid, so close to home, so... _lifelike_.

She could see a girl that was herself and yet wasn't herself. A girl that was the shinobi Hibari but was not her at all. A girl with her face but a girl without her heart... that is, if she still even had a heart anymore. In a Hebijo uniform, the expression the girl wore in her dream made her look like the ruthless evil shinobi of her childhood bedtime stories.

Heartless.

Soulless.

Ready for the kill and nothing more.

There was something else. Something more haunting about the expression on the girl's face... No, on _Hibari's_ face.

She looked like... She looked _exactly_ like the kind of person that, just a short time ago, she had feared the girls of Hebijo were. The girls she was becoming closer and closer to with each passing day — the girls she found herself liking more and more with every moment spent with them. Perhaps the kind of girl she would soon...

Was this dream a premonition?

Was the girl with her face really just... her?

Was that what she had agreed to become?

Was that the path she had just set herself on?

Was this... her future?

This in itself was scary enough, but it wasn't any scarier than werebunnies or thinking back to more real threats through her dreams. A bit closer to home than it might have been before, but that was all. And if the dream had ended there, it would have been nothing. Scary to think about, maybe, but after getting to know Haruka and the others, Hibari had already accepted that looks could be extremely deceiving, and perhaps that would be true of herself someday as well. She would learn to live with it, just as the other Hebijo shinobi seemed to have.

Unfortunately, that was only the beginning of the dream.

"Who's there?"

Hibari would have gasped if she had had control of her body at the sound of the voice. Like someone being forced to observe the most sadistic play that had ever been performed, unfortunately, all she could do was watch as someone approached the monster with her face, the serpent that had hissed out such an icy question.

Was that... Yagyu? Had Yagyu really come for her? Was Yagyu here for her in the dream?

"Hibari... We're been waiting for you. Come with me."

As the figure approached, that familiar, reliable, wonderful figure... Hibari knew for sure and without a doubt.

It was. It really really was. As her treasured friend approached, her features became all the clearer and the doubt faded more and more... but the Hebijo that was now Hibari looked like she didn't care. Even though Yagyu was saying the words Hibari so desperately wanted to hear from the bottom of her heart, the person Hibari had hurt so much... It was like the only thing this horrible version of her cared about was...

... No...

It couldn't be...

No!

 _NO!_

Hibari wanted to scream out and warn her friend, but it was no good. Her voice couldn't reach Yagyu's ears — it couldn't even reach her own lips. It was the opposite of a silent film — this was the worst sort of horror movie, and its audience was trapped in a cage of silence and paralysis. It was like all the librarians in the world had taken revenge on the human race for interrupting quiet reading time, and now she was trapped, unable to make a sound.

She had no choice but to see this through to the end, from its horrible start to whatever surely awaited at the end.

"I thought Homura told you. I'm with Hebijo now. I'm not going back. Not now, not ever."

Her own voice sounded cold. It was dismissive in such a way that Hibari couldn't even comprehend the idea that it was her own voice saying those things, yet it was. How could she ever talk to Yagyu in such a way? She could understand — understand and regret — getting frustrated with Yagyu, but this? She was talking to Yagyu like she found the icky bugs on the ground more important!

How could she...? How could she have ever...?!

"No...! Hibari-"

The girl in her dream that was Hibari but not Hibari, for Hibari could never accept this, readied herself. Yagyu, the girl that Hibari had failed again and again... did not.

"Don't you know what you're doing? You're intruding. This is Hebijo's territory. I should kill you for being here."

No! Yagyu should get a big, big, biiiiig hug for this! Hibari could practically cry seeing Yagyu here for her like this!

A hug didn't even seem to cross "her" mind.

Hibari couldn't believe it. The fact that it was coming from her own lips, that it was her own voice saying these horrible, horrible things just made it all the worse.

"Hibari, you're not thinking straight... Listen to me...!"

The pain in Yagyu's voice was thick. It was dark and murky, like horrible, blood red ink that could blind a person should it be used to write something. Yagyu just wanted her friend back. Yagyu had always given so much for Hibari, and here she was again... Trying so hard for Hibari's sake. All because she wanted her back.

Was that so wrong...?

Hibari couldn't understand herself. Why wasn't she willing to listen? This was _Yagyu_...

The person she had yelled at...

The person she had ignored...

The person she had nearly gotten killed...

In reality... Hibari could understand perfectly well if she thought about it...

"I know what you're thinking, but I can't go back now, Yagyu... Wait wait, no, that's wrong. It's more like... I don't _want_ to. This is what I am. This is who I _want_ to be. Aren't you just looking down on me some more by asking me to leave? Have you ever thought about what _I_ want?"

No! No she isn't! Not even the other Hebijos would want this!

This isn't right... It's all wrong... The Hebijos didn't believe this... They wouldn't let this happen...

... Would they...?

... No no no, it doesn't matter! It doesn't matter at all! None of it matters! Nothing in the whole wide world except for one thing mattered right now!

Because there was something more important to think about here-

Run, Yagyu! Run away! Run away _now_! Get out of here and never come back!

Hibari wanted to scream it at the top of her lungs, but her mouth wouldn't work and neither would anything else — she wasn't even allowed the release of her own tears. Pleading for Yagyu's forgiveness was the last thing on her mind now. Now, all she wanted was to make sure she had nothing else to plead for forgiveness for.

"Hibari, we understand... Really, we understand. You can come back. We'll take you back no matter what."

Coming from Yagyu, just those four simply words had more impact on Hibari that any words from her, or anyone, could have possibly described. Yagyu was the one she had hurt the most. Yagyu was the one she had _betrayed_ the most! How could Yagyu _ever_ suggest that she could come back? Yagyu had every right to kill her and leave! Yagyu shouldn't be suggesting Hibari go back to Hanzo! Hibari didn't have that right!

 _"You can come back."_

The words repeated themselves in her ears. Like the most beautiful song she had ever heard, she could hear them echoing from her ears all the way into her hear.

Could she?

Could she really?

After betraying her school — her friends — not once, but twice? Even more if she counted more than just the handing over of the scroll... No, she had no right... No right at all...

"I'll do everything in my power to make sure you can come home. No one is upset. We all know why you're still here, we all know you're trying your best... Please, Hibari, just come home. _Please_...!"

Even as Yagyu continued pushing, Hibari didn't believe it. She couldn't allow herself to. After all that she had done... After everything she had done, after how much she had failed, it was _better_ this way. She belonged with the Hebijo now...

... but hearing Yagyu's words... hearing her voice... It almost... As much as it hurt, even more than that...?

Hibari wanted to go back. Hibari wished she could go back home after everything she had done. Yagyu's words filled her with warmth and the feeling of being appreciated, and more than ever, Hibari wished she could apologize. She wished she could apologize and tell Yagyu how much she appreciated her friend and how she was sorry for their petty squabbles and to make sure Yagyu never had to talk this way ever again and... And...!

"Hah! So I can be tried for being a runaway? Executed? Forced to just run away all over again? I don't think so!"

And the words she spoke in her dream were cold. The mirror image, the vision of the future, didn't feel any of those things. She was cynical. Suspicious. _Amused_. She didn't care one bit how Yagyu felt.

But Yagyu wasn't going to give up. Even with Hibari feeling hopeless in the face of what she saw herself doing, Yagyu simply held her arms to her sides.

She would embrace Hibari even now. All of Hibari's faults... All of the darkness the Hibari before her was displaying... Even with Hibari having clearly turned into a monster, she would still... She would still...!

"I won't fight you like this. I came here to take you home. I came to take you back to where you belong. That's all."

Really...?

Home...?

Where... she belonged...?

"'That's all'? So you're done? No scroll?"

Did Hibari... _really_ belong with Hanzo?

"Hibari... I don't care about the scroll."

Despite her inability to cry, despite her inability to wail, Hibari was moved. Her very soul would have cried if it could. Maybe it already was, witnessing such devotion from the friend that she had been so cruel to. With the Hibri in the dream seeming to be listening, seeming to be questioning her motives, _caring_ about her motives, Yagyu felt she had made some progress, and so she kept going. Hibari hung on to every word as she listened, trapped though she was. It was like a lifeline was being thrown her way and everything was finally going to make sense again.

"I came to take _you_ back to where _you_ belong. I don't care about anything el-"

But the cold voice that was hers and was not hers interrupted it all.

"I belong _here_."

Yagyu's body crumpled to the ground. The blow Hibari had dealt was fatal and Yagyu hadn't even been making an attempt to defend herself. Yagyu certainly couldn't have been fully recovered after already having to fight off poison and deal with being shot before all of this had happened either... And it was all thanks to Hibari. Now, she would never have the chance to recover at all.

All thanks to Hibari.

Because... Hibari had killed Yagyu.

It was natural, wasn't it?

No matter how similar the Hebijo were to the girls of Hanzo... No matter how much she liked them and understood them... Was fighting them inevitable? The Hebijo... They seemed to believe so. Was there anything she could really do but be just like them if she _was_ one of them...?

If staying with them meant she couldn't be with Yagyu and the others anymore... If it meant they would have to fight like this someday...

At long last, Hibari was allowed a quiet, strangled sob. Mental images of friends on both sides crumpling to the ground as death took them flashed through her mind, and she began to sob even harder.

"I can't... I can't let that happen... Isn't there another way...!?"

There was no one there to answer.

Not Yagyu.

Not Haruka.

Not Ikaruga or Homura or Katsuragi or Yomi or even Asuka.

There was only the sound of her own sobs in the darkness of her room.


	4. Chapter 4

Haruka was angry.

Splinters were flying everywhere. Pieces of wax and other materials, large and small, were quick to join them in the air before landing unceremoniously onto the floor. Fleshy looking hunks and bony looking chunks followed suit. Strands of what looked to be silvery hair, seemingly torn out fifty strands at a time, were ripped from where they belonged. The stands floating through the air to land on the multitude of parts littering the ground to complete the morbid display of violence, almost adding a sick sense of beauty to it all.

One could have easily thought they were witnessing a murder if they were to stumble upon this scene by mistake. If nothing else, the lack of blood might have given such a person pause before they ran off to alert authorities. Not that they'd get very far in the Hebijo compound if they tried to do that.

Haruka might not go as far as to say she was angrier than she had ever been before in all her life, but Haruka's anger that evening was certainly enough to rival its former peaks, that much was certain.

"Why did you do that?"

Pausing only briefly in the massacre of her creations, Haruka glanced over her shoulder. She already recognized the source of the voice to belong to that of someone rather close to her, and sure enough, her suspicions were quickly confirmed. Their teacher had finally decided to show herself. And here Haruka thought she was content just watching this play out, waiting to see just what the Hanzo shinobi they had dragged in would do. Better late than never, hm?

"Do what?"

Haruka feigned innocence, turning away from her doorway to get back to work. She did so by ripping off a leg, only to drop it to the floor like it was a piece of trash and smash it with her heel. Again and again and again — her doggies would be dead right now if she had taken to treating them in such a way. No, nothing living could take such abuse. Calling what Haruka was doing now "abuse" would be being far too light, far too kind. Even "torture" would be putting it gently... were something living the subject of all of this violence, that is.

The silver and pink haired puppets, however, now the two of them made for the perfect victims. Haruka would accept no substitutes for these, as a matter of fact. She _needed_ to destroy them _._

Thoroughly.

"You drugged her and then you put on a puppet show for her. Why? What purpose did that serve _you_ , Haruka?"

Ah, so _that_ had been what had tipped off Suzune to her little scheme. Haruka had been in quite a rush when she had stolen those chemicals from the teachers' offices. The Hebijo students were always welcome to them, but the unspoken rule to it all was that they weren't supposed to get caught in the process. Shame on her for being so _emotional_. At least she could confidently say she wouldn't _ever_ make that mistake again.

"Does it really matter? I can't do anything about it _now_ , can I? What's _done..._ is _done_!"

A torso dropped onto the floor as she put emphasis on the "now," and with each "done," she smashed it, as she continued to do after she stopped speaking. This should have been making her feel better, it should have made her heart soar back to how it had been flying across the land just a few hours prior every time she smashed through these false bodies, yet it wasn't. If anything, it made her feel worse, and the fact that it wasn't was only making her feel worse still.

While Haruka's stress relief would have been called grotesque by any other, Suzune was decidedly _not_ one that could be described in such a way. She had seen far worse, and she had seen it done with real bodies. Continuing to stand in the doorway, as if she was a parent observing a girl pounding on her bedroom pillow, Suzune continued speaking calmly, even as a few of the dolls' broken fingers flew through the air.

"She's probably going to want to leave more than ever now, Haruka."

The lower half of a lifelike looking jaw rolled across the floor.

"I know."

A false eye bounced its way into the hallway.

"The guilt of handing it back after she had it in her hands will be an even bigger motivator for her to leave."

And at last, something large, broken, and indescribable was flung against the wall, shattering upon impact.

"I know."

Yet Suzune wasn't phased throughout it all.

"Did you know that her allies are coming for her? You may never see her again after tonight."

The gore, the sounds, the sheer emotion Haruka was displaying... She didn't flinch once.

"I'm sure they are... Something like that happening..."

A brief, hollow pause.

"It was inevitable."

But the emptiness of those last three words almost brought Suzune to action. Somewhere in the hardened shinobi, a maternal part of her wanted to step forward... but she knew better than to do such a thing. Silencing that part of her, Suzune reminded herself of her position. After reaffirming her place, she instead chose to look around the room at the mess Haruka had created as she vented her swirling emotions instead, setting her own emotions to the side as she did.

"And? You still haven't answered me, Haruka."

Haruka was silent as she finished what she had set out to do. It seemed like the girl was no better off than she had been before she had started. Recognizing that much, her tone softening, albeit only slightly, Suzune continued.

"Why, Haruka? Why make her even more inclined to go with them when they came? You could have made her want to never leave if you had so chosen."

Her work finally complete, not giving a damn whether or not her teacher was watching, Haruka smiled as she slumped her shoulders and let out an accomplished sort of sigh. Some might have called it almost dreamy sounding. Others might have described it as filled with anguish. Haruka didn't look back at Suzune as she spoke, but she was sure her teacher would understand well enough, though truth be told, Haruka just _truly_ didn't particularly care if she didn't catch the meaning of her words one way or the other. It wasn't like she could do anything about it now.

"This... isn't the dollhouse she belongs in."

With far more gentleness than someone who had been displaying such brutality only moments ago should have been able to muster, Haruka knelt down. Even more gently than that, her fingertips slowly, sweetly, _affectionately_ brushed across the only in-tact piece of the dolls she had been venting her emotions out on. Compared to the gore she was surrounded by, the amount of broken body parts of all shapes and sizes...

This one piece looked as though it was in almost perfect condition. As though it could be placed on a new doll and it would look like it had never been through any sort of damage. The other doll was completely mutilated now, totally destroyed, no longer recognizable as something that had once had a shape so human that it was indistinguishable from one...

But this small piece of the other...

It was just big enough that Haruka could comfortably pick it up and cradle it in her arms. Just large enough that Haruka could hold it with her without fear of dropping it.

Just small enough that she could hold onto it for as long as she wanted... while it would never be able to leave her.

Just _perfect_ enough that she would still be able to crush it in her own hands if the need so arose.

 _If it ever tried to_ _ **leave**_ _her_.

 _If it ever tried to_ _ **hurt**_ _her._

 _If it ever tried to_ _ **betray**_ _her._

Its size made it _perfect_ for that.

"Haruka... Is that...?"

It was a face.

The face of a pink haired girl, to be precise.

"This isn't the dollhouse you belong in at _all_ , Hibari..."

Desperately clutching the replica of Hibari's face close, a strangled, despondent, despairing noise escaped Haruka. It was all she would allow herself. She was better than to allow much more, but that much, with only the now silent Suzune and the lifeless face in her arms as witnesses... She would allow herself to express that much.

"Tell me, Hibari... Was there ever any hope? Was there ever a chance that this would have worked out?"

The face of the decapitated doll said nothing.

If only Haruka hadn't done the same when she had sent Hibari for her bag, maybe then...

If only she hadn't hesitated. If she hadn't given Hibari the chance to run away, she could have confronted her... She could have... She could have done _something_...

It was too late now, though, wasn't it?

"In the end... Yes... I think _I_ was the one who got played with this time... Don't you agree, my little Hibari...?"

The face did not respond.

It couldn't.

It wasn't the real Hibari. The real Hibari was likely being rescued at this very moment. By her _real_ friends.

The thing in her arms, being cradled so lovingly, so adoringly... It was hers, oh yes... But it could never answer her on its own like Hibari could.

It was a tool. With no one pulling the strings, what could it do?

Nothing.

And with the strings of affection cut by the scissors of reality, like the broken doll she held so desperately in her arms, the broken puppet known as Haruka the shinobi, too, said nothing more.


End file.
